Accountability

I’m torn between a desire for justice and a sense of gratitude for the blessings I have been given.

What would Jesus say? I often wonder and my clouded and emotive mind has no clear answer. Every single day I want to speak my truth and have it known – especially when I read words that promote a man whose vindictive nature crucified my career (for a period of time). My reasoning brain knows that he is only like that with a select few. Funnily enough, mainly women who dare to challenge his view on how things should be.

Why is it I have to remain silent? There is such a conundrum in our theology of ‘turn the other cheek’. We say we should ‘let it go’ that we will all be held accountable by God. But my God is infinitely loving and forgiving beyond human comprehension. So, this is really not working for me. I know how flawed I am and yet I feel so connected to my God who loves me even though most times I really suck! Logically, rationally, this then applies to others. Why then, do we turn away from holding other humans accountable and suggest we should ‘leave it to God’ when we believe in a loving and forgiving God?

I think we need to bring back accountability. Accountability for actions, for words and for deeds. And thinking back to the Mass – ‘for what I have done – and for what I have failed to do’ we need to perhaps hold people in power accountable for not working within the set process instead of abusing their power to avoid uncomfortable conversations that could potentially reveal their misuse of authority.

On the other hand, I am so grateful for my blessings I could ask why would I rock this boat? It is a bit of a Catch-22 – I don’t want to jeopardise what I have fallen into, or seem ungrateful for my many blessings. What would Jesus say? Not to me but to the situation. I actually don’t know. I scour the Gospels and try and translate into our current-day setting and extrapolate against changing social settings, but I just cannot find an answer.

Perhaps we cannot find answers when we are personally invested and so – I say to you – if you have an answer let me know. For now, I keep turning the other cheek because challenging seems ungrateful – but is that the social power circle humming along with all its centuries of experience?