Harden not your heart

Whilst in Santiago after my Camino I was fortunate to attend Mass at the Cathedral on Sunday.

To get in to the Cathedral I walked past a highly-distressed lady. She sat outside the church and wailed. It was a haunting sound. I felt uncomfortable walking past her. Then when I had to walk past her again, I paused. I simply could not ignore that sound that did not simply penetrate my ears, but echoed in my soul. I went back and gave her some money. When I put the notes in her hand I looked in her eyes and the pain there made my heart ache.

When I knelt down in Church I felt the words – harden not your heart – and I felt emotion well up inside me. I tried so hard not to cry but a few tears escaped.

Like many, I hide my emotions. I work hard to not show my emotions, to the point I have been called cold.

The reality is that pain has led me to fight emotion. As soon as I feel anything I try to lock it all down as a safety precaution. In this moment I felt the battle within for forgiveness and acceptance. We soldier on through adversity, but we must forgive to move forward. Sometimes we need to forgive ourselves, sometimes others, sometimes both. Regardless, in this moment I felt the call to feel, to allow myself that human element without shame. Too often we attach shame to our feelings when they are simply parts of who we are biologically.

Harden not your heart. Do we create an environment where we are more capable of ignoring the human condition because we strive to ignore our own? I think the precursor to the quote is imperative – if today you hear his voice … We need to hear and respond. To harden one’s heart seems to be the worst part of life, it is something that fills me with sadness to think I may have done this – we cannot harden our hearts. We must be open to compassion. For it is hardened hearts that do not hear the cry of the poor, the lost, the lonely, the forsaken, the downtrodden.

So my lesson I learnt this day was – listen. Listen. Let your ears hear the cry of those around you. And when you do, do not harden your heart and approach these cries with reason, approach the person with compassion and love.