There is a song by Hillsong that I absolutely love. So Will I (100 Billion X). The one I listen to is the live version that goes for just over 7 minutes.
There are so many lines that over the past few years have spoken to me; the other day I was driving and one line hit me so much I put it on repeat. It had always stirred in me that sense of awe and wonder in the greatness of God and a deep appreciation for the world in which I live and journey. Previously the lines that impacted me the most were:
If the stars were made to worship so will I.
If the mountains bow in reverence so will I.
If the oceans roar your greatness so will I.
for if everything exists to lift you high so will I.
If the wind goes where you send it so will I.
If the rocks cry out in silence so will I.
Then after the lull in the middle, well slightly later, at about 5.30:
If you left the grave behind you so will I
What is the grave? The grave is where we go when we die. Theologically we are called to die to self, to die to all the things that keep us from being God-like. Perhaps the grave is where we go to leave our sin – which kind of fits with the idea of Salvation. Jesus left the grave behind – he was after all, the one who died for our sins. How hard is it though to truly leave the grave behind? I think, rather, that we bring the ashes of the grave with us and sprinkle them on the blooms of tomorrow and today. If only we could truly leave them behind so that the sun could rise on an untainted tomorrow.
As humans we struggle to really let go of things, and this includes sin. When we do wrong, or are flawed, even when we atone, and try, there is a tiny shred of self-doubt that accompanies us into our next venture.
How do we leave the grave behind? This would take courage and discipline I imagine. I can’t say how we would for it is not something that falls readily into my skill set.
So will I.
This is the call.
The Female Theologian 