Thinking back (and perhaps showing my age here) to the 80s film Desperately seeking Susan – sometimes we are driven to seek someone and go to extraordinary lengths. To what lengths do we go to seek God?
Every now and then I take myself out into nature (often with a camera) and it is there I feel the greatest connection with the Infinite. For me, that stepping into nature is a recharge of my spiritual batteries. There is something powerful about the crunch of dirt under your shoe, the sounds and (hopefully pleasant) smells of nature, and the feel of a fresh wind in your face. When travelling (other than Disney) my favourite moments have been in nature – Niagara Falls, Ben Nevis, Connemara and Yosemite are my absolute favourites. These stunning vistas always remind me of a greatness beyond me, a wisdom I strive for but cannot fathom, and a beauty that takes my inner breath away and reassures me that the world is indeed good!
My two favourite local places are Grange Beach with the dog before sunrise and the Adelaide Hills near sunset. Isn’t there something remarkable about watching those beginning and ending moments of light? Too often we encircle ourselves in this concrete jungle of urban life and need to go in search of the ‘transcendental experience’ (thank you Rahner) to open our spirit to the infinite horizon and absolute mystery that is the divine.
I’m sure we all have a space where we can go that allows our lungs to breathe in deeply the air of hope and possibility and connection with the Infinite Other who loves us.
The above two photos are of the same path with the passing of time. I love how the light hits the path as the sun is setting orange in the sky – it warms the vision. When contrasted with the darkness that a lack of light generates it does look more appealing. Light as an image for God is a powerful one for me and is probably why I find myself drawn to sunrise and sunset and those moments when the suns rays are so tangible around us and show the difference between dawdling in the dark to purposefully journeying in the light.
See if you can find a spot where the sun touches the earth and maybe there you will find that connection you seek. I always do. Sometimes you need to know where to go to find that moment. It’s a bit like netball. I’m a bit of a netty fan (just a smidge) and have spent many a moment coaching and watching netball. We talk about the connection between players when they feed the ball into the goal circle. It is as if one player knows where the other will be before she gets there (it’s a beautiful thing to see on court). I think seeking the connection with God is a bit like that – these netballers don’t just magically know – they have worked together to establish that connection. So too with God, we cannot expect it just to magically work – we need to work on knowing a bit more about ourselves and a bit more about God if we are to find that connection. How we do this varies from person to person but it takes time, commitment and work.
It is worth every second for that sense of connection is beyond price.
The textbook answer would be through prayer. But prayer can be ritualistic and somewhat empty. (I don’t think this statement is heretical – I think it is honest – not all prayer is fruitful and connective and life-giving, after all Saints have bemoaned this in the past (hello – Dark Night of the Soul)). To connect involves something more (which can occur during prayer for sure) something that connects our spirit with the divine presence which is ultimately spiritual. Directing young people today to read ancient writers from contexts long changed so they can find a better understanding of God isn’t – I think- the most effective way to nurture connection. That’s an intellectual exercise which can certainly inform our sense of God but its not really stirring the soul.
Let me be frank – I do not subscribe to the charismatic variants or Pentecostal evangelicals that have you ‘speaking in tongues’ and ‘falling down in the spirit’, just a little disclaimer right now before you read the rest of this and wonder if I am actually Catholic (although fyi there is a branch of Catholicism that taps into this – I once went to their Easter camp and the music was phenomenal). I do think that connection is intrinsically personal and logically it has to be different for each individual so perhaps writing about connecting with God in general is pointless – but if my thoughts offer food for thought then it is time well spent.
Any stimulation that draws you inward to that indefinable sense within helps you to be open to connect with the divine presence, as long as it is connected to God and to you.
Prayers are often written by someone else – it becomes personal when you connect to the context. For example Christian music. This is something those pentacostals do so well. I’m actually going to refer to 3 specific songs by different organisations – which is going to make this lengthy but I feel it is important and each one touches on a different aspect of connection.
There is a song by Bethel music called ‘Raise a Hallelujah’. The most powerful version I have seen was a live version when Jonathon Messler explained how the song came to be written as a prayer. It was a response to a situation when a child’s life was in danger. It pulls on the heart strings. As a mother there is no greater fear than something happening to my child.
I raise a hallelujah in the presence of my enemy
I raise a hallelujah louder than the unbelief.
Hallelujah is a cry of joy and praise and I’m sure we all have moments when it feels like joy is far from the present and we wonder how we will ever get through. This is a defiant hope for a better tomorrow. For when it seems that there is no way forward ‘I raise a hallelujah’ says to me that I know that I am struggling but I also know there is something far greater that I can draw strength from. It’s not a fairy godmother approach where prayer brings an action from God, its more about us and the strength we need when we need it. It takes me back to one of the Psalms – Psalm 31 to be precise. David was in a bit of a pickle. His own son had turned against him, he was surrounded by enemies, his neighbours and friends wanted nothing to do with him and he was facing defeat. The odds were not in his favour. And yet, in this dire time he calls out to Yahweh and affirms his faith. He draws on that deep well. There are many translations but I do like the line ‘Have Courage and Take Heart’. It speaks of hope. And from hope comes courage. And it takes courage to ‘raise a hallelujah in the presence of my enemy’.
The second song is ‘The Blessing’ by Kari Jobe and Elevation Worship. I’ve always loved Celtic Blessings – not just Irish but lots of terrific Scottish ones as well. This song also has a narration at the start where Jobe explains how the song came to be, as a group effort, trying to ‘go in after the presence of God’. The resulting song is remarkably repetitive but incredibly effective. It draws on Scripture but it is the use of ‘Amen’ that really stands out to me. The Blessing is about God turning his face towards you, blessing you with grace. Who doesn’t want to be smiled upon by God? Then comes the Amen. Amen means so be it or I agree. It is in a way an acceptance of the blessing and also when thinking of the blessing going to others a sort of ‘please let it be’. Then as the song builds the words say:
‘May his favour be upon you and a thousand generations
And your family and your children and their children and their children
May his presence go before you, and behind you and beside you
All around you and within you he is with you
In the morning in the evening
In your coming and your going
In your weeping and rejoicing
He is for you.’
This is a prayer I think we can all tap into. Don’t we hold loved ones in our hearts and hope for them to be well. In this global age (especially now with covid) we seldom see those living in various corners of the globe. This song taps into that essential desire to not be alone (which we are not as God is with us in our ’coming and going’ and our ‘weeping and rejoicing’ which are essentially dichotomies and so constitute a whole), and into the desire of the heart for loved ones to be ok. The sung Amen is important as it is an act of will, it is like we are willing it to be.
The third song is one of my all-time favourites. I’m going to give a plug to the music department at St Paul’s College who, with vocalist Joanna D’Angelo have done amazing renditions of this song. Oceans (where feet may fail) by Hillsong. The title straight away takes me to St Peter trying to walk on the water with Jesus and only lasting a second before sinking. Again this is a long song (sorry-not sorry) with different sections and some amazing building. Additionally, the ocean for me is an image of the unfathomable which always connects me with God. I feel a certain sense of spiritual connectivity near water as there is so much I do not see and do not know. One of the lines ‘You call me out upon the waters’ reminds me that we all have something to do in this world – this can be challenging. Isn’t this often a lifelong struggle to find what our purpose is and then to actually do it. The song goes on to say ‘I am yours and you are mine’ – again this is that sense of being connected to the divine. My favourite part connects to this:
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the water, wherever you would call me.
Sometimes, when you feel a call to do something it is hard. It is frightening and sometimes goes against the current social norms, so do you do it? This prayer says that we can gain strength from the great infinite and do great things for the benefit of all.
All 3 songs offer hope and strength in difficult times (in different ways). This is – I think – the core of prayer today – in a world where secularism and materialism are dominant spiritual strength is what is most needed and essentially most radical.
So if you are looking for food for thought or ways to connect with God – give contemporary Christian music a listen – it may take a while before you find one that speaks to you but once you do you can listen to it over and over again. 😊
Would it matter if I called the woman who brought me into the world mother, mum, mummy or Patricia? It wouldn’t change my intrinsic connection to her. With that in mind, and a basic concept of God as Creator and humanity and the world as part of that creation, does it matter what we call God, would that change how we connect?
In the Bible the word Yahweh appears many times before Moses asks for his name. ‘I am who I am’ is God’s reply and then he says, ‘This is my name for all time; by this name I shall be invoked for all generations to come’. Interestingly enough I believe I have, on more than one occasion, said (both internally and aloud) ‘I am who I am’. Life experience has led me to the conclusion that I am who I am and whilst I may change aspects of myself and that ‘am’ may change with personal growth it is a statement that is a tautology. What is significantly different between my saying it and God saying it as an answer to Moses, is that I don’t know every single part of my own being – each day is a learning experience about my world both outer and within. I’m assuming the omniscient divine presence absolutely knows its own infinity.
In Christianity we frequently refer to God as Father. This stems obviously from the Gospels where Jesus tells his followers to pray and names God as ‘Our Father’ and then as ‘your heavenly Father’. But consider the social circumstance of the time – what did the role of a father entail? It isn’t the same today – time has changed society in so many ways. The father back then was the authority of the household, the provider, the protector, the one who carried the responsibility and was owed absolute respect and honour. It was not his role to amuse a child or provide physical care for an infant but today we take paternity leave etc so why can we not move beyond this image of God as father? There is nothing wrong with this image of God but it cannot be ‘it’. Personally, I find a sense of protection and care with God that does remind me of the safety I felt as a child when I had a bad dream and my father was in the house, there was a comfort and a sense that I would be protected from any evil force that tried to harm me (I had a recurring nightmare about a witch).
There has been much said and written about the ‘sexist’ nature of Christianity (more on that in a future blog) and much has been identified in the Bible that highlights nurturing qualities of God and the image of God as a mother (especially given the Creator God image). Is there any harm in referring to God as she? I don’t think there is – but that is just my opinion – but it is an opinion based on a lot of reading and reflection, but still an opinion. I see no conflict in using the prayer ‘Our Father’ and still calling God she. I love that the Bible presents the quality of Wisdom as female and wisdom is both an attribute we associate with the divine and one of the gifts. Wisdom is an interesting topic for reflection because in the Book of Wisdom the author clearly presents it as divine even though referring to this strength as ‘she’. So really we have learnt to name the divine by the term that states its identity, roles which mirror aspects, and strengths that we believe stem from this being. So why not say God is Creator, God is Our Father, God is Maternal, God is The Wise One? The divine presence is beyond our ken, so who is to say this is wrong? As humans we have to find what makes sense to use both intellectually, emotionally and spiritually.
According to Scripture we really only have the one name for the Christian (Jewish, Islamic) god and that is Yahweh. But then when we look at that really when Moses asked for a name he got the answer ‘I am who I am’ which was then shortened to Yahweh – so technically we don’t actually have a name (as we understand names) for this divine presence. So does it matter what we call God? I tend to flip around between God and the divine presence or the Transcendent Other – but if I don’t have to say it out loud the name for me is irrelevant – isn’t it really about a spiritual connection?
Why do we need a name?
Our view of the significance of a name has changed over time. Think back to Arthur Miller’s The Crucible and John Proctor’s cry:
Because it is my name! Because I cannot have another in my life! Because I lie and sign myself to lies! Because I am not worth the dust on the feet of them you have hanged! How may I live without my name? I have given you my soul; leave me my name!
John Proctor, The Crucible (by Arthur Miller)
Our name used to be indelibly connected to our identity and it was how we were known – in some instances reputation is still inflated in importance if we look at social media and the way in which people search our name in their cyberstalking ventures.
Today, we use people’s names to acknowledge, to communicate, to connect but it is also still a part of our identity. As an educator I have to learn lots of names every year and in a relational sense knowing someone’s name matters. Remember the theme song from the TV Show Cheers?
Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name,
and they’re always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see,
our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows
Your name.
It’s human that just as we hope God knows our name – we want a name in return, but ultimately this influences our perception of the relationship. What if the greatest connection is when we close our eyes and just know to whom we communicate? Those moments when words are not needed and ultimately not enough. But we are human and so we need both, the spoken and the unspoken.
Have we allowed our words to define what is indefinable?
I am an educator with a strong background in religion.
I have spent many years studying religion, philosophy and theology. For example I was taught Canon Law by a Dominican Canon Lawyer, I learnt about the politics and environment of the Holy Land from a Franciscan Father who was Parish Priest at the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem, I was taught Christian and Jewish Scriptures by experts one-one-one. Additionally, I have read a great deal on Western Philosophical Thought, Aquinas, a range of theologians and spiritual reflections.
I was brought up Catholic and am still. I find that there is a lack of really inclusive and contemporary thought that speaks to me so I felt deep within I had something to say and so decided to do this blog.
The Female Theologian 