The Female Theologian

It has been a while between posts but I’m going to be writing one per week from now on. Either Thursday or Friday I will make time and space to say something. In a way I think if we do not use our voice consistently we run the risk of losing the confidence to speak freely.

I have a few posts in mind but they are not quite formed, post Camino. My Camino was a personally enlightening experience and I will share more of that in future posts with some photos. Today, however, I share the call to camino.

I felt like I needed to go. You know that feeling deep within which has no words when you just know something, know where you need to be or who you need to see and it just wont go away for long? After much hesitation, one day when the opportunity arose (and not for the first time I am sad to say) I seized it, booked the flights and then had several months to panic about it. Well, to be honest it was a bit of a swing between panic and joy.

I went primarily to have a chat with God. That’s an expensive conversation you may rightly say when God is with us always. True. I don’t think it is God that goes missing from the deep conversations though, I think we get so caught up in this and that it is ourselves who fail to make the space and time to get to the depths of our soul for those really important moments. It was appealing to go and walk a spiritual path that many had journeyed along and achieved great insight, to walk the path of St James. I must admit I had several thoughts of my time studying medieval english literature and the Wife of Bath’s tale in particular (which was nothing like my camino rest assured).

Today I say to you – take a moment to see if there is a call you are ignoring or putting off. It doesn’t have to be a religious one, although sometimes I fear it is our spiritual wellbeing that often comes last on our list when thinking of self-care. Give that call your ear and be brave.

Easter Sunday has been and gone but the hope of the season remains. Too often we focus on Lent and forget to immerse ourselves in the glory of Easter, which is actually a longer time frame.

We need to learn how to celebrate. Why do we celebrate for one weekend and then transfer to the mundane? Easter is a time where we should focus on the positives in life! We can make a difference, we have hope and we are loved by God. Just as we take the time in Lent to focus on penance, preparation and reflection, surely we should devote equal effort to the joy of Easter.

What can we do to more fully embrace the Easter Season? Make time to see people and be present in the moment, like Mary was when listening to Jesus. Find the courage to speak positive truths to others – it’s a contemporary way of taking the joy of the Gospel to others. Too often in society we get lost in the negative. How can we be resilient without hope? Isn’t it our responsibility to remind the world we have hope, that we can be kind every day, that humans need to know we do not have to surmount every challenge solo.

I’m torn between a desire for justice and a sense of gratitude for the blessings I have been given.

What would Jesus say? I often wonder and my clouded and emotive mind has no clear answer. Every single day I want to speak my truth and have it known – especially when I read words that promote a man whose vindictive nature crucified my career (for a period of time). My reasoning brain knows that he is only like that with a select few. Funnily enough, mainly women who dare to challenge his view on how things should be.

Why is it I have to remain silent? There is such a conundrum in our theology of ‘turn the other cheek’. We say we should ‘let it go’ that we will all be held accountable by God. But my God is infinitely loving and forgiving beyond human comprehension. So, this is really not working for me. I know how flawed I am and yet I feel so connected to my God who loves me even though most times I really suck! Logically, rationally, this then applies to others. Why then, do we turn away from holding other humans accountable and suggest we should ‘leave it to God’ when we believe in a loving and forgiving God?

I think we need to bring back accountability. Accountability for actions, for words and for deeds. And thinking back to the Mass – ‘for what I have done – and for what I have failed to do’ we need to perhaps hold people in power accountable for not working within the set process instead of abusing their power to avoid uncomfortable conversations that could potentially reveal their misuse of authority.

On the other hand, I am so grateful for my blessings I could ask why would I rock this boat? It is a bit of a Catch-22 – I don’t want to jeopardise what I have fallen into, or seem ungrateful for my many blessings. What would Jesus say? Not to me but to the situation. I actually don’t know. I scour the Gospels and try and translate into our current-day setting and extrapolate against changing social settings, but I just cannot find an answer.

Perhaps we cannot find answers when we are personally invested and so – I say to you – if you have an answer let me know. For now, I keep turning the other cheek because challenging seems ungrateful – but is that the social power circle humming along with all its centuries of experience?

Just saw a presentation from the Pat Cronin Foundation. A powerful story. An emotive story.

How important it is to reinforce to young men that violence is never entertainment, it is never ok. That we all can feel angry but what matters most is what we do. And not just how we respond to our own anger but what we do when we see violence or anger. How many people challenge their friends on behaviours that could potentially change a life – and not for the better.

Women can be violent. Even so, statistically it is men who engage in violent behaviour more than women. I worry about the pack mentality so often seen in young men 15-25. It is intimidating. I feel like I can defend myself but there is something inherently scary about a group of young men who are threatening or mocking – for mocking can lead to action and action can cause such harm.

I like that the language has changed from ‘king-hit’ to coward-punch. Coward-punch is much more apt for thumping someone who is not watching. Not that it is ever ok to punch someone, even if they are watching.

Why is violence so prevalent? What does it take to change this in society? Maybe it needs to start with our language and what we think is funny or entertaining. Watching someone get hurt should not be entertaining – if we keep seeing it this way eventually we will be desensitized to violence and that simply will not end well.

Be more sensitive.

Ah Lent we meet again. And yes, I am invoking the Sunday loophole. (If you hadn’t noticed there are 46 days in Lent – so my brain translates that to – Sundays don’t count as they are days of celebration).

I think Lent is ultimately a personal choice. How do you get ready to celebrate Easter? I give up wine (not on Sundays), pray, donate and try to be a bit more aware of those around me. I look for ways I can make a positive difference, no matter how small, more ‘religiously’ during Lent. Why? Because my heart is grateful. I have struggles (we all do) but I am supported and blessed. There have been times in my past when I did not see how lucky I was, that dark cloud of cynicism tainted my vision, but now I see the sunshine (even when clouds are forming).

I talk to God more during Lent. It’s a good thing. Perhaps it is a part of my commitment to prayer, perhaps it is because I am less likely to talk to a glass of wine, or perhaps because I tend to walk more (which is a time I often talk to God). Perhaps it is all of the above. Regardless, I feel more aware that I belong here, I have a purpose (even if I don’t know exactly what it is) and I matter.

So be bold and jump into Lent. Give something up. Donate. Look for ways to make a difference. Pray. Reflect.

In a week when Oceania has seen a huge change, I was fortunate to see an art show that strangely took me back mentally to the massacre in the mosque in Christchurch. The note ‘They are us’ written by Jacinda Ardern captured the essence of our multicultural societies and the shift to a more inclusive community.

Dr Daniel Connell, in his art show CoViv, captures this sense of community. How frustrating it must have been to have lived within the shadow of a temporary visa during covid times, challenged to find employment, uncertain about the future.

Both Ardern and Connell remind me of our shared humanity. Additionally, in preparing a lesson on Easter I listened to a Youtube by Fr James Marchionda OP last Easter in which he addressed the struggle of Easter in war-torn Ukraine. We are all human. Connell captured it beautifully on the canvas, Ardern cited her humanity in her need to step down, Fr James honoured the suffering across the globe in spite of humanity. We are all innately human. How we express our humanity matters greatly. Words matter. Images matter. Artistic expression matters. They matter because they speak to something deep within us, our humanity.

Within the Catholic Tradition we are taught from an early age that Jesus was fully human and fully divine – a challenging concept to rationalise. We also learn that he was the perfet expression of humanity. We tend to mess it up a bit. And we say well – we are only human. But to be fully human is to be like Jesus, so perhaps, in our flaws, we are failing our humanity, not giving in to it. To what extent do we use everything we have in our own human existence to be the best we can be? We seem to be a bit Augustinian saying ‘Not yet God’. We want to have our cake and eat it too. Maybe later, God, we will do more, be more. Later I will be the amazing human you created me to be.

Perhaps this is our escape. We say ‘only human’ to give ourselves a way out, an excuse. In doing so, however, have we then negatively impacted how we view our fellow humans – that being human is not, on it’s own, awesome? Is this why we tend to offer respect not to simply a fellow human, but to a fellow scholar, a fellow religious, a fellow familiar?

If we painted our view of our global brethren in humanity would we see beyond colour, race, ethnicity? For how long will we continue to operate in a ‘they’ and ‘us’ world?

A new year. We develop our own rites of passage to mark the shift from one year to the next. What will our approach be to the next 365 days and nights?

If the last few years have taught us anything it is that there are so many things beyond our control. We can only direct how we respond to situations. Ultimately, we may not be able to predict our circumstances but if we do not let our emotions drive our bus then we can have a say in our response.

One of the great gifts of the last few years has been kindness. I wonder if it is just me or if others have noticed that many people are more tolerant, more patient and more kind today than a few years ago. Perhaps the common challenge of covid has convinced us to collaborate with our fellow humans and realise that we all walk the same earth and share a common humanity.

What would Jesus do in covid times? Now there is a question that involves far too much analysis. We would have to consider what his context was and how he responded and derive the essence of his approach and then apply it to today’s world. I can’t manage that – can you?

All I can say is that Jesus would have loved. I don’t know what that would look like and that is ok – because if I am going to follow his example then I just need to do the best I can to be loving in all situations. Some times I will fail (probably many) but some times that love will be the difference.

So let us start 2023 with love.

Christmas, the religious festival that transcends most cultures. Perhaps it is a nod to the power of the Church in the Middle Ages, but somehow Christmas speaks to those of the faith and not alike.

Of course, the meaning of Christmas is very different to religious people such as myself; Jesus is (after all) the reason for the Season! Sometimes I think we lose sight of the fact that ours is a faith centred on love and family. We start the liturgical year with Advent – a time to get ready for Christmas. We start the religious year thinking about how amazing the birth of a child is, how joyous that time, and specifically that child. The most amazing gift of hope to ever grace the earth.

We all need hope and we all need family. Perhaps this is why Christmas is so socially acceptable and significant. The cynic in me wonders about the money-spinner component to Christmas, but never to the point that I don’t come back to hope and family, which I think is the true light of Christmas.

I think an aspect of Christmas is making sure the majority feel hope, following our call to be bringers of light. As parents of young children, we desire to give them a magical experience – to bring joy to their hearts in a special way. As adult children of aging elders we need to look to help them regain the sparkle of joy we were gifted with in our youth. As siblings and friends and colleagues we seek to bring moments of love and joy to others. As compassionate citizens we support organisations that help those in need more so at Christmas than any other time of the year. Much of Christmas is looking to the other.

But perhaps, given the all-too-fluid definition and experience of family, we need to give pause and make sure we do not lose any of our own sparkle. (After all we cannot look to the guide the other from darkness if we cannot see the light ourselves) If your life circumstance has changed this year then find your new tradition, don’t wait for it to find you – it probably isn’t looking.

There is a sadness that comes when Christmases change, and we miss the joy we felt with days past. We are, after all, human. Change often elicits grief. It is normal to miss what was which brought us joy, we just need to understand that finding a new joy is our own responsibility.

I don’t have a big family and a crowded house at Christmas (although I would dearly love to cater that sort of event) but I love my Christmases, even though my children are now adults and refuse to watch The Polar Express. And even when it is me and the pets (who will watch The Polar Express and a plethora of Hallmark Christmas films) I’m going to find things to do to remember that this is a day about hope. Life can really throw us a few curve balls, but I bet Joseph and Mary had zero intention of having a baby in a cave when they set off on the census to Bethlehem, and yet this night became the greatest of nights. Life can throw curve balls, but when you connect with it and the ball flies through the air, life can also push us to do things we thought previously unattainable. Go hit a home run!

What will you do this Christmas to recharge your inner light and help you truly feel hope and joy this year?

As the sun begins to wane in the sky at the end of the first week of Advent, we are called to light the second candle. The faith candle reminds us of the faith of Mary and Joseph as they made the journey to Bethlehem. What a journey that must have been! Perhaps we all have our pilgrimage through the uncertain, along an unfamiliar path to a destination that we may not have chosen, but ultimately is where the universe needs us to be.

Faith is an interesting concept today and means different things to each person. I see my faith as a blessing, but I know there are those who find expressions of faith manifestations of irrationality, and others who profess their faith acts as the only way to salvation – it is all a very personal thing. I cannot imagine getting through all that life has thrown at me without my faith in a loving and compassionate God.

Tonight, in preparation for the second Sunday of Advent, I reflect on all the faiths in the world. With covid we saw how we can unite and that ultimately, we share a universal humanity and profess faiths that promote common values.  Perhaps one day faith will only be a strength and not a divider within society. If only ignorance was not shouted quite so loudly over those whispers of faith that stir us to act with kindness and love. Perhaps it is Faith in something beyond what can be explained that will bring us the gift of deeper self-knowledge and infinitely more compassion.

Today we light the first candle of Advent, the prophet’s candle, which reminds us we have hope because Jesus is coming. Today more than ever we need hope. Hope is something you cannot fake, cannot buy, cannot command and it comes from our deepest desire to be all we were called to be. Without hope the world descends into darkness. We have hope. This is a gift. It is not a wrapped present under a tree but comes from the presence of others in our lives who show us glimmers or flames of love which remind us we matter; we have a purpose, and we are meant to be. Interesting that tradition connects prophets (who let’s face it were never believed by the people they were with) with hope. Perhaps it is to remind us that when our world seems blind and deaf, we still hold tight to hope in a prophetic way as we know and believe the truth to be beyond the surface, to not be killed by lies but to still exist, living, breathing, just waiting to be revealed and be acknowledged.