The Female Theologian

In the First Letter to the Corinthians Paul writes;

God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

Key take-away #1. God is faithful. We try to be faithful and faith-filled, but God is faithful. This is a tenet that should remain unshakeable when we face difficulty. This is something we can draw warmth and comfort from. It is not God putting us in the face of temptation, it is God offering eternal support in how we face it. It is our choice how we address those moments, but take a moment to invite God to be present (however that looks for you) and breathe.

Take-away #2. We have all the strength we need within us. Really there is a well of grace and courage that we do not always tap into, but exists deep within our soul. Whilst I do believe we all have it, I think it is something we need to look after and replenish every now and again. If we always take and never replace surely the well will run dry. Do something every week that replenishes your well.

Take-away #3. Temptations are not fun and they will (ultimately) suck. Sometimes you just have to persevere and get through it (endure) and get to the other side. You may be battered and bruised, but better that than to darken your soul and be less than you are meant to be. I worry that we as humans forget how amazing we are supposed to be and give in to mediocrity. Be brave, be brilliant, be kind, be You!

Sometimes we just have to listen to our inner voice. There are times when we think it through and talk to ourselves rather than listening. I kind of equate that to when you are ‘listening’ to someone but really you are just waiting to speak, not really listening.

Creating the headspace to listen takes time and patience. In the Book of Revelations it says:

Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.

When and how do we discern between the voice of God, the voice of our desire or our intellect, and the voice of social expectation? I really have no concrete answer and do not hail myself as an expert, but I try to listen. Make space for silence. Work on quietening yourself. Meditate. Sit in nature and just be. Talk to God. How can we expect to hear the voice of God if we do not actively seek conversation?

Additionally, we need to make time to really listen to those we love. Sometimes, well -often, they say what they think we want to hear rather than what is in their heart. It doesn’t just take time to create the space for this conversation, it takes sacrifice. At some point we need people who are willing to give up some fleeting pleasure or familiarity to show love. We all do eventually. This gift paves the way to conversation, and when you think about it conversation is the greatest balm for our spiritual and emotional hurts.

I invite you to think of the last conversation that healed your soul and do something to connect with that human.

My Camino in my mind was about leaving 3 ‘rocks’ on the way and having it out with God. A bit of a ‘what the hell?’ conversation. Getting to Sarria was really hard and I almost turned back but I really wanted to have that chat, it pushed me from a need deep within.

On the first day, whilst just getting into the rhythm of walking I felt the presence of God and within I heard ‘do you really think that was me?’ ‘are you laying that at my door?’ And in that moment I knew deep within my heart the love of God. The next sentence, the title of this blog, summed it up ‘Shit happens – make good choices’. I had not set out thinking my conversation was me blaming God but trying to understand why it had all happened. But sometimes there are no reasons, they just are.

There were many more revelations on my journey and it was so important to have that time – a luxury in our busy yet mundane lives.

I thought about both parts of the title separately and combined. The choices we make as people create the shit that happens to others. We may not intend that but it is the reality. What is a good choice? We talk about making good choices so often and yet mostly we are thinking of good for the individual. I believe God wants us to make ‘good’ choices where good is something bigger than the personal good. It is such a huge concept for such a simple word. How do we even know what true ‘good’ is given we have descended into such mediocrity and selfishness?

If I turn to Augustine – things that exist are good but corruptible. Does this apply to people? In every ‘less-than-good’ choice we make do we lose some of our goodness? Do we corrupt ourselves rendering our being less than when we were born? Yet Aquinas suggests that goodness and being are similar and so if something is then it is good. In a way I come back to ‘it is what it is’. Each moment we are faced with what is – it may feel unpleasant but it just is. So the moment itself is neither good nor bad, it just is.

As humans we are such emotional creatures. We paint our reality through a lens of feeling. Silly really, as feelings come and go and we have limited control over our feelings. What we can control is what we do. What our choices are. And yet history tells us that human judgement is inherently flawed and causes a lot of ‘shit’ to happen. Vicious cycle. Will we ever get off this roundabout of pain?

So how do we make good choices? We learn. We reflect. We think beyond the immediate and try and see other perspectives. A narrow lens is seldom a good thing when faced with the glorious spectrum of humanity.

Whilst in Santiago after my Camino I was fortunate to attend Mass at the Cathedral on Sunday.

To get in to the Cathedral I walked past a highly-distressed lady. She sat outside the church and wailed. It was a haunting sound. I felt uncomfortable walking past her. Then when I had to walk past her again, I paused. I simply could not ignore that sound that did not simply penetrate my ears, but echoed in my soul. I went back and gave her some money. When I put the notes in her hand I looked in her eyes and the pain there made my heart ache.

When I knelt down in Church I felt the words – harden not your heart – and I felt emotion well up inside me. I tried so hard not to cry but a few tears escaped.

Like many, I hide my emotions. I work hard to not show my emotions, to the point I have been called cold.

The reality is that pain has led me to fight emotion. As soon as I feel anything I try to lock it all down as a safety precaution. In this moment I felt the battle within for forgiveness and acceptance. We soldier on through adversity, but we must forgive to move forward. Sometimes we need to forgive ourselves, sometimes others, sometimes both. Regardless, in this moment I felt the call to feel, to allow myself that human element without shame. Too often we attach shame to our feelings when they are simply parts of who we are biologically.

Harden not your heart. Do we create an environment where we are more capable of ignoring the human condition because we strive to ignore our own? I think the precursor to the quote is imperative – if today you hear his voice … We need to hear and respond. To harden one’s heart seems to be the worst part of life, it is something that fills me with sadness to think I may have done this – we cannot harden our hearts. We must be open to compassion. For it is hardened hearts that do not hear the cry of the poor, the lost, the lonely, the forsaken, the downtrodden.

So my lesson I learnt this day was – listen. Listen. Let your ears hear the cry of those around you. And when you do, do not harden your heart and approach these cries with reason, approach the person with compassion and love.

Interestingly, we routine-up our rituals and ritualize our routines.

Yes, I know this is a couple of days late. I am vastly imperfect. This is a topic I feel is obvious but not given enough attention.

Rituals are important. They matter to our psyche. I don’t know why but I am confident they do. The reality is, especially for catholics, we turn our rituals into routines. Well Mass anyway.

Mass is THE most AMAZING ritual! But we go because it’s an expectation, we recite words without thinking and turn up in body, but do we turn up in spirit? There is so much in the Mass that we could reflect on – is it too much, perhaps, to take in at once? This is possible.

It’s an interesting conundrum to me. You need to know what to do, the words and gestures etc in a ritual (especially a repeated ritual). And yet, you need to also dive into the rich indulgence of being present in every word and gesture. It is hard to do that. We are so busy. Do we ‘tick-off’ attending Mass? Sad but human.

Then we ritualise watching our favourite shows. I admit that I do. I love to watch the Suncorp Super Netball with a glass of wine. It is an important part of my weekend. It is both indulgent and useful in that it gives me ideas for my team that I coach. Obviously, the wine is not useful in that, lol, but it has become a ritual or tradition for me.

What of family traditions? We ritualise them and they become so rich for the heart.

We need to feed not only our bodies, but also our souls, our minds and our hearts. When we ritualise things we nourish parts of ourselves that we do not always acknowledge as mattering. But then we also need to immerse our hearts and souls (not just our bodies) in our religious rituals if we are to fully benefit from this commitment.

It seems a bit silly that we make the physical effort but don’t engage our hearts, minds and spirits as fully as we can.

We need rituals. Rituals help us make sense of our connection to the divine and our connection to humanity. We live in a world full of confusion so any help to navigate the mess is welcome. What ritual do you engage in that you need to bring your heart and soul to?

It has been a while between posts but I’m going to be writing one per week from now on. Either Thursday or Friday I will make time and space to say something. In a way I think if we do not use our voice consistently we run the risk of losing the confidence to speak freely.

I have a few posts in mind but they are not quite formed, post Camino. My Camino was a personally enlightening experience and I will share more of that in future posts with some photos. Today, however, I share the call to camino.

I felt like I needed to go. You know that feeling deep within which has no words when you just know something, know where you need to be or who you need to see and it just wont go away for long? After much hesitation, one day when the opportunity arose (and not for the first time I am sad to say) I seized it, booked the flights and then had several months to panic about it. Well, to be honest it was a bit of a swing between panic and joy.

I went primarily to have a chat with God. That’s an expensive conversation you may rightly say when God is with us always. True. I don’t think it is God that goes missing from the deep conversations though, I think we get so caught up in this and that it is ourselves who fail to make the space and time to get to the depths of our soul for those really important moments. It was appealing to go and walk a spiritual path that many had journeyed along and achieved great insight, to walk the path of St James. I must admit I had several thoughts of my time studying medieval english literature and the Wife of Bath’s tale in particular (which was nothing like my camino rest assured).

Today I say to you – take a moment to see if there is a call you are ignoring or putting off. It doesn’t have to be a religious one, although sometimes I fear it is our spiritual wellbeing that often comes last on our list when thinking of self-care. Give that call your ear and be brave.

Easter Sunday has been and gone but the hope of the season remains. Too often we focus on Lent and forget to immerse ourselves in the glory of Easter, which is actually a longer time frame.

We need to learn how to celebrate. Why do we celebrate for one weekend and then transfer to the mundane? Easter is a time where we should focus on the positives in life! We can make a difference, we have hope and we are loved by God. Just as we take the time in Lent to focus on penance, preparation and reflection, surely we should devote equal effort to the joy of Easter.

What can we do to more fully embrace the Easter Season? Make time to see people and be present in the moment, like Mary was when listening to Jesus. Find the courage to speak positive truths to others – it’s a contemporary way of taking the joy of the Gospel to others. Too often in society we get lost in the negative. How can we be resilient without hope? Isn’t it our responsibility to remind the world we have hope, that we can be kind every day, that humans need to know we do not have to surmount every challenge solo.

I’m torn between a desire for justice and a sense of gratitude for the blessings I have been given.

What would Jesus say? I often wonder and my clouded and emotive mind has no clear answer. Every single day I want to speak my truth and have it known – especially when I read words that promote a man whose vindictive nature crucified my career (for a period of time). My reasoning brain knows that he is only like that with a select few. Funnily enough, mainly women who dare to challenge his view on how things should be.

Why is it I have to remain silent? There is such a conundrum in our theology of ‘turn the other cheek’. We say we should ‘let it go’ that we will all be held accountable by God. But my God is infinitely loving and forgiving beyond human comprehension. So, this is really not working for me. I know how flawed I am and yet I feel so connected to my God who loves me even though most times I really suck! Logically, rationally, this then applies to others. Why then, do we turn away from holding other humans accountable and suggest we should ‘leave it to God’ when we believe in a loving and forgiving God?

I think we need to bring back accountability. Accountability for actions, for words and for deeds. And thinking back to the Mass – ‘for what I have done – and for what I have failed to do’ we need to perhaps hold people in power accountable for not working within the set process instead of abusing their power to avoid uncomfortable conversations that could potentially reveal their misuse of authority.

On the other hand, I am so grateful for my blessings I could ask why would I rock this boat? It is a bit of a Catch-22 – I don’t want to jeopardise what I have fallen into, or seem ungrateful for my many blessings. What would Jesus say? Not to me but to the situation. I actually don’t know. I scour the Gospels and try and translate into our current-day setting and extrapolate against changing social settings, but I just cannot find an answer.

Perhaps we cannot find answers when we are personally invested and so – I say to you – if you have an answer let me know. For now, I keep turning the other cheek because challenging seems ungrateful – but is that the social power circle humming along with all its centuries of experience?

Just saw a presentation from the Pat Cronin Foundation. A powerful story. An emotive story.

How important it is to reinforce to young men that violence is never entertainment, it is never ok. That we all can feel angry but what matters most is what we do. And not just how we respond to our own anger but what we do when we see violence or anger. How many people challenge their friends on behaviours that could potentially change a life – and not for the better.

Women can be violent. Even so, statistically it is men who engage in violent behaviour more than women. I worry about the pack mentality so often seen in young men 15-25. It is intimidating. I feel like I can defend myself but there is something inherently scary about a group of young men who are threatening or mocking – for mocking can lead to action and action can cause such harm.

I like that the language has changed from ‘king-hit’ to coward-punch. Coward-punch is much more apt for thumping someone who is not watching. Not that it is ever ok to punch someone, even if they are watching.

Why is violence so prevalent? What does it take to change this in society? Maybe it needs to start with our language and what we think is funny or entertaining. Watching someone get hurt should not be entertaining – if we keep seeing it this way eventually we will be desensitized to violence and that simply will not end well.

Be more sensitive.

Ah Lent we meet again. And yes, I am invoking the Sunday loophole. (If you hadn’t noticed there are 46 days in Lent – so my brain translates that to – Sundays don’t count as they are days of celebration).

I think Lent is ultimately a personal choice. How do you get ready to celebrate Easter? I give up wine (not on Sundays), pray, donate and try to be a bit more aware of those around me. I look for ways I can make a positive difference, no matter how small, more ‘religiously’ during Lent. Why? Because my heart is grateful. I have struggles (we all do) but I am supported and blessed. There have been times in my past when I did not see how lucky I was, that dark cloud of cynicism tainted my vision, but now I see the sunshine (even when clouds are forming).

I talk to God more during Lent. It’s a good thing. Perhaps it is a part of my commitment to prayer, perhaps it is because I am less likely to talk to a glass of wine, or perhaps because I tend to walk more (which is a time I often talk to God). Perhaps it is all of the above. Regardless, I feel more aware that I belong here, I have a purpose (even if I don’t know exactly what it is) and I matter.

So be bold and jump into Lent. Give something up. Donate. Look for ways to make a difference. Pray. Reflect.